and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
