we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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