Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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