he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just gargled with NyQuil
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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