he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
