Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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