I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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