does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
