What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
