he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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