I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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