Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
