We won't sleep together?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
