have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
