I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
