Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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