For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
