He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Floor bacon is actually really good
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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