Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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