I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
