K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
