He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
