Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
