Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
