White coat. Heels.
You can't special order awesome
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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