My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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