Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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