I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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