oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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