You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
