"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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