I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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