just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
