Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
