Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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