we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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