How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
