just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
