somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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