doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
