I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
