i permit you to call me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
