when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
