NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
