Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well you can't waste a boner
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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