I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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