That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
