White coat. Heels.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
