It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
