I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize