When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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