Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
