if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's great music for shaving your balls
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
