i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
