is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
