no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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