a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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