#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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