waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
