I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
